UPDATES! THREE URGENT PRAYER REQUESTS!

I wanted to update everyone on everything that has happened since I last posted to our blog. We really need prayer on some issues we are having. I have three different prayer requests.

* FIRST PRAYER NEED and UPDATE ON HOW ISAAC IS DOING
This first prayer request is pretty long and detailed, but I really felt the need to not only ask for prayer but to tell exactly what is going on. I think it will help people to pray more specifically and I think it will also help people who have not adopted to understand some of the issues that adopted children face. This is not to discourage anyone from adopting or to say that I am regreting any of it. On the contrary, I would do both adoptions all over again. Our two children were meant to be in our family and I can't imagine our life without them. There are challenges with raising a child whether biological or adopted, but I just wanted to share the different kind of issues that some adopted children deal with. This is not to say that all adopted children have these same issues, but a lot of adopted children, especially older children and children from institutions, do experience many of these issues to varying degrees that Isaac is facing. Here are some of the issues that we are facing with Isaac.

I spoke a little too soon about Isaac sleeping well at night and about his adjustment. He slept through the night the first two nights, but I have now realized it was from pure exhaustion. Now that the jet lag and exhaustion is starting to wear off, other fears and feelings are starting to emerge. I am seeing that he is a very sweet and active little boy, but under the smiles and laughter is a very scared and insecure little boy. He now cries at night before going to bed and he sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night crying for me. I think it is because he is scared. The language is a definite barrier for us. It is hard to comfort him when he can't understand what I am saying. I just do what I can. I hold him and tell him that it is alright and that Mommy is here. He also has severe separation anxiety, which is very understandable with what he has been through. He panics if he doesn't see me. For example, at church yesterday, I took him to Sunday school. I didn't leave him in there by himself. I stayed with him. He wouldn't even get out of my lap. He wouldn't even look at anyone. He kept his head turned into my chest the whole time. I also went with him to children's church. He seemed to do alright in there for a while until I slipped out for a few minutes. When he realized that I wasn't in the room, he started screaming, "MOMMY! MOMMY!" Olivia was in there, but that didn't help. Once I got back, he calmed down, but he looked my way every minute or two while he was playing to make sure that I was still there. It broke my heart. He has been so traumatized. It is going to take a long time with a lot of patience and understanding and love for him to learn to trust that he is safe and that he can trust us to come back if we leave him for a little bit. I have had people say things like, "Oh, he is fine. Look he is playing. He is laughing. He is adjusting just fine." They haven't seen the panic and terror on his face. He will be happy and playing one minute, and the next minute, he is in a panic. Some people think that he will be just fine in a few weeks. They just don't realized that you can't erase three years of trauma in a child in a few weeks. It could take years. People don't realized that just because he was in an orphanage with other children, that doesn't mean that he will do fine in any situation as long as there are other children in the room with him. What they don't understand is that Isaac really doesn't know how to play with or socialize with other children very well. He wasn't brought to the orphanage until he was 2 1/2 years old ,so he didn't have other children to play with the first 2 1/2 years of his life. He became very independent in those first years. He was also only at the orphanage for 6 months before we came. Although he was getting Christian love and care at the orphanage, 6 months just wasn't much time for them to help him get over his fears and insecurities. His nannies said that he was still very afraid of the dark, and he cried at bedtime and when he woke up. They also said he didn't play much with other children. He would get a toy and go off to play by himself. If he played with other children, it was because they came over to play with him, not the other way around. He plays pretty well with Olivia, but I can still see his independence and tendency to be reserved around others. He still has trouble interacting with her or any other child. She tries to play with him and teach him things. He is open to it sometimes, but at other times, he rejects it and pushes her and any other children away. Also, no matter how much love and support he got at the orphanage, it wasn't the same as the love and stability and security he would get from a home with a mommy and a daddy. I wish I had the words to help people to understand that the smiles and playful little boy that they see is only a very small part of a larger picture. There is so much more going on deep inside our little boy that they have not seen, but we have. Another thing we are having trouble with is him bonding to Eddie. He will play with him, but he still gets upset if I am not around. Even at home, he will come looking for me every few minutes to make sure that I am still there. With me being at home and Eddie back at work, he is attaching to me and not bonding with Eddie. I know that this is completly normal right now because Olivia did this too. We are trying to make time where Eddie spends time alone with Isaac with me not there, but he has cried for me each time we have tried this. At first I tried leaving the house to spend some quality time with Olivia which she desperately needs, but Isaac got very upset. We are now trying for Eddie to just take Isaac alone to another part of the house to play just with Eddie. They may go to his room to play trains or go outside to play ball. I do something else in another room with Olivia. That hasn't worked out great either because Isaac keeps coming looking for me. We are still trying to work this out. I know this is a normal reaction for a child who has been through what Isaac has been through, but we want to do everything we can to help him. I am also concerned about Olivia because she is feeling left out at times. I am having a hard time balancing everything. I am so proud of her. She hasn't complained about all of the attention that we are having to give to Isaac, but I can tell that her feelings are hurt sometimes. She looks so sad at times. She still tries so hard to help and it hurts her when Isaac pushes her away, but she still keeps trying and keeping her hurt to herself. I see it though and I am trying my best to continually remind her how much I love her and how proud I am of her.

* SECOND PRAYER NEED
On top of this stress with the children, Eddie was in an automobile accident less than a week after we got home from Taiwan. We think that his truck is totaled. We only had liability on the truck, so we won't get any money to replace it. We can't afford to buy another vehicle. We used all the money we had to bring Isaac home. He also has some medical needs that we are unsure how we are going to pay for.

* THIRD PRAYER NEED
And as if this wasn't enough, Eddie found out today that the plant where he works is going to close on June 30. They will be offering some of the employees a job transfer to their other plant, but we are not sure if Eddie will be offered a transfer. The other plant is 70 miles away from us. He would probably have to commute since it would be very hard for us to sell our house with the way the housing market is right now, and we couldn't afford to rent a house there and pay a mortgage here. There is also the vehicle problem with commuting too since his truck is out of commission. He would have to use my vehicle. If he isn't offered a job transfer, he will be laid off. He really needs to find another job quickly. He has an industrial engineering degree, but he also has experience in quality and management as well as engineering. His current position is Quality Manager at his plant. He has 11 years of experience in manufacturing. Eddie is also a music minister. He is currently serving at a church, but only in a part-time capacity. If anyone knows of anyone with a job opening, please tell them about Eddie.

Please pray for all of these situations. Satan has really been attacking us and I am starting to feel defeated. I know that God is with us and that He is going to take care of us, but in our human nature, it is easy to feel down when so much is thrown at you at once.

I know that some of you may want to call me, but I would appreciate you just praying for us right now. If there is a job prospect that you know of, please feel free to send me an e-mail about it, but I really don't feel like talking about everything right now. It all makes me cry and I really don't want to cry in front of the kids. I really need to be focusing my energy on them right now. Olivia doesn't know about Eddie's job and we don't plan on telling her right now. She wouldn't understand. She is so in tune with other people's feelings. If she saw me crying, so would know something is wrong and she would get upset too. We want to protect our children from this as much as we can.